$2.99 Wax Necessities
A Column By Tim Midgett

BEASTIE BOYS
ROCK HARD 12"
DEF JAM 1985

These days, the Beastie Boys put on concerts supporting the freedom of Tibet more often than they put out records. But 1985's "Rock Hard" was just their second (nominally rap) release, and it is not the product of inspirations assiduously marshalled over a long period of time. The signature riff from AC/DC's "Back in Black," coupled with God's own snare drum, paves the way for boastful emceeing that steers clear of standard issue ("Rock and roll rhythms are raunchy and raucous / We're from Manhattan / You're from Secaucus").

Equally ad hoc, the remainder is twelve-inch bloat that hasn't aged all that well. But the title track is walloping, not to mention a real leap towards a true melding of hard rock and rap, first hinted at by Run-D.M.C. a year previous.

A full-on hardrockrap breakthrough came with the band's first proper LP, Licensed to Ill: streamlined, lyrically epic, and an essential companion to teenage substance abuse. Many a bong and/or Corona would touch the lips of my young friends and I as we hooted and pumped our fists to the delightful strains of "Brass Monkey" and "Paul Revere." .22s were fired blindly into the Montana sky. Bonfires blazed out of control. We capered along the well-lubricated edge of a fleeting nirvana. Leering from the blaster, our alter egos egged us on, the teachings of the Dalai Lama nowhere to be found among their musings.

In the three dollar bin today sits an eminently worthy precursor to the catalyst for such joys.

The term "FLY DOPE" is in the dictionary. It is "a dressing that makes fishing flies water-resistant so that they will float, or an insect repellent." Well, not to me, Noah Webster. To me, "FLY DOPE" is a term that I would use to describe "Rock Hard."

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